Titel: The Australian Ventriloquist
Verfasst am: Mo, 17 Sep 2007, 11:17
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village
and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have
a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi "G'day,mind if I talk to your dog?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
takes me to the park once a week to play."
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes
me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."
____________ Staatskrise ist, wenn plötzlich keiner mehr RAUCHT, SÄUFT, RAST und SCHROTT aus China KAUFT...
So Angus and McTavish are sitting around in the pub. Angus takes a long pull at his drink, looks out the door and says "Angus, you see that bridge out there."
"Aye Angus, I do"
"S'a goood Bridge. Built it with me bare hands I did. But do they call me angus the bridge builder?"
"No angus they don't" he says sympathetically.
"And ya see that roof on the school. S' a good rooooof, took me a month, with me bare hands." He takes a pull again. "But do they call em Angus the Roof Maker?"
"No angus they don't"
Angus takes another deeeeep pull at his beer, his face going red.
"But you fuck ONE Sheep . . .!!!!"
____________ beehave - home of humbug ... [we can't afford to be neutral]