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NEWS FROM HELL
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UncleR



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Titel: NEWS FROM HELL
Verfasst am: Mo, 06 März 2006, 16:54
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An atheist who has just died knocks on the Pearly Gates. After a quick search in his computer St. Peter gives him the thumbs-down sign. On arrival in hell the atheist is pleasantly surprised by the moderate temperatures, lush gardens and modern architecture. On entering the office with a Reception sign on the door he is warmly welcomed by a very attractive young lady who offers to show him around.

The first building they come to is marked Recreation. On entering, the atheist is amazed to find a pub, a night club and a disco. All drinks are free, he is told. He cannot believe his luck. "By the way", the receptionist informs him " all the girls you see would be pleased to accommodate any wishes you may have, but you will have to negotiate that with the ladies personally". No problem, he thinks. The next buildings houses several restaurants ranging from fast-food to gourmet dining. Also free of charge, he is informed.

After passing throught the sports complex which has everything from a gym to an Olympic size stadium the receptionist takes him to a highrise building and shows him his accommodation - a huge penthouse suite with all mod-cons including a well-stocked mini bar, jacuzzi, a king size water-bed. The atheist is absolutely amazed and asks whether he really is in hell. The receptionist assures him he is and politely asks him to visit Lucifer's office for a pre-dinner drink at 7.30 p.m.

On his way over later that evening he passes a a high wall with heavily bolted gates and hears terrible wailing and gnashing of teeth from the other side. Peeking through a keyhole he sees thousands being flogged, crucified, dipped in and out of boiling oil, stretched on the rack and stabbed by little devils with very sharp tridents, basically everything one would expect to see in hell. Completely confused, the first question he asks Lucifer who turns out to be a very courteous young man in an Armani suit is what is going on on the other side.

"Well, it's quite simple really," replies the devil. "That's what the Catholics expect and I would be the last person to want to disappoint them". Twisted Evil

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