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Jokes für (angehende) Eheleute
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UncleR



Beiträge: 2084

Titel: Jokes für (angehende) Eheleute
Verfasst am: Di, 15 Jul 2008, 13:57
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Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

---------------------------------------------------------

Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes and no.'

---------------------------------------------------------

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how
impossible,  I look at your picture and the problem
disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

---------------------------------------------------------

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Son: 'Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married
you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

---------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

---------------------------------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most
in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I
like your sense of 'humor,..


____________
Staatskrise ist, wenn plötzlich keiner mehr RAUCHT, SÄUFT, RAST und SCHROTT aus China KAUFT...

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UncleR



Beiträge: 2084

Titel: (Kein Titel)
Verfasst am: Mi, 30 Jul 2008, 13:02
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> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
> expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...
>
> And then the fight started....

> ************************************************************************
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
> Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
> License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
> my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
> have to go home and come back later.
>
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
> curly silver hair.
>
> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
> she processed my Social Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
> Social Security office.
>
> She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
> disability, too.'
>
> And then the fight started...

> ***********************************************************************
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
> a nearby table.
>
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
> hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ***********************************************************************


____________
Staatskrise ist, wenn plötzlich keiner mehr RAUCHT, SÄUFT, RAST und SCHROTT aus China KAUFT...

Nach oben
Private Nachricht senden Rang:moron methusalem Sportangler Weinonkel (Hamm !) Zocker torjäger-tipper
boris



Beiträge: 10136

Titel: (Kein Titel)
Verfasst am: So, 03 Aug 2008, 22:02
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UncleR @ Mi, 30 Jul 2008, 13:02 gab folgendes von sich:
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

big grin


Gast: "Welchen Wein können Sie mir für unsere Silberhochzeit empfehlen?"
Kellner: "Kommt darauf an, wollen Sie feiern, oder wollen Sie vergessen?"


____________
beehave - home of humbug ... [we can't afford to be neutral]

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